The Lighted Chalice
UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH
Lafayette, Indiana ~ ~ December 1, 2005

Next Newsletter Deadline:
Sunday, December 11: Noon

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This issue was prepared by Nancy Patchen

BoaSocial Responsibility News

LUM (Lafayette Urban Ministry) is in dire need of new socks for the Homeless Shelter. New socks in men’s and women’s sizes are in high demand during the winter months. However, socks are more needed for men as they use the Shelter more often than women. Hats and gloves are also needed. And of course the Shelter can always use coffee and sugar.

Three volunteers per night are needed to spend the night at the Shelter December 24th, 25th, and December 31st. Contact Joyce Boehm at 423-2691 if you can help.

Patti O'Callaghan, Program Director for LUM, is seeking volunteers to help with tax preparation for members of the community who sign up and are eligible for free tax preparation. Contact Patti for more information.

Upcoming Events:

Saturday, December 10th: Jubilee Christmas, 590 families with a total of 1483 children have been registered. Volunteers are still needed! See Coordinator Rae Brandt

Saturday, December 17th: Bach Chorale presents Handel's Messiah with the

Hallelujah Chorus. LUM receives half the proceeds for each ticket purchased through them. See Mary Finley if interested in purchasing tickets.

Social Action IRCRC Proposal Discussion

The Social Action Committee invites you to attend a discussion opportunity on Thursday, Dec. 8, from 6:00 pm-7:00 pm at the church, when you can learn more about the committee's proposal that our congregation become a supporting member of the Indiana Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice (RCRC).

We will discuss the church's new Outreach Policy, which offers guidelines for this process. We will also discuss the IRCRC and what it would mean for our congregation to be a supporting member.

The proposal will be formally placed before the congregation at the Dec. 11 congregational meeting. In the meantime, feel free to talk with members of the committee. For specific questions about IRCRC, you may contact Kaye McSpadden.

Katrina Relief Update

The UU congregation at Shelter Rock will match gifts up to $500,000, for those who contribute to Katrina relief through the UU Service Committee. A special panel was formed to assess needs and distribute the funds. So far, UU’s have donated $2.6 million. To learn more, go to www.uua.org. The Katrina Emergency Relief Act, signed September 2005, makes cash gifts 100% rather than 50%deductible.

—Sue Robinson, Chair, Social Responsibility

Breaking News! New Pianist Joins Church Staff

The Pianist Search Committee is pleased to announce that Richard Maddux will be the new church staff pianist starting in December, pending official Board approval. Richard is an accomplished pianist with significant experience playing for churches and events such as weddings and funerals. Richard currently plays for the Bach Chorale and also plays at Tecumseh Middle School.

We are delighted that Richard has agreed to fill this position and we look forward to his musical contributions on Sunday mornings.

Welcome, Richard!

—Pianist Search Committee: Barny Dunning, Hilary Krivchenia, Chap Flack, John Duvall, and Kaye McSpadden

Book Group

7 pm, Dec. 12, The Birth of Venus by Sara Dunant

7 pm, Jan. 9, 2006, Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver

The Book Group meets on the second Monday of every month at 7 p.m. at Borders Bookshop in Wabash Landing in the lounge area where it joins with Panera’s. All are welcome to join us for discussions of books selected by participants.

For more information contact Dagmar Murray.

UU HOLIDAY ART SALE IS HERE!

Come enjoy this annual festive all-church community event on Friday, Dec. 2, 4-9 p.m., and Saturday, Dec. 3, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Volunteers are still very welcome for a variety of tasks, especially Trudi’s Cafe. Please contact Jennifer Comenetti-Craig or Lisa Pantea.

See you there!

2006 Stewardship Report

The Stewardship/Covenant Renewal Campaign for this year officially ended Nov. 6, but late pledges will most certainly be accepted! The tally as of 11/16/05 is $169,433.67 from 119 pledge units. This represents a 4.62% increase in pledges over last year. Although not final, this is the current breakdown:

126 returned their pledge cards:

15 were new pledges (relative to 2005) + 14,056.72

53 increased their pledges + 14,867.95

30 kept their pledges the same 33,943.00

21 decreased their pledge - 12,470.00

7 did not pledge this year - 4,996.00

10 have not returned their pledge card - 3,980.00

Since the proposed budget asked for a 14% increase in pledges, not all of the initiatives will be funded and it is possible some cuts may have to be made. If you would like to express your opinions/concerns regarding how the money will be allocated, please let the Finance Committee know immediately. The six members are: John Carlson (Chair), John Finley, Bruce Craig, Gale Kvam, Dan Lybrook, Keith Brown.

The revised budget will be presented to the congregation Dec. 11 immediately after the church service. Please plan to attend to participate in this important congregational business. Financial support for the programs of the church is vitally important and every pledge large or small is appreciated. But no amount of money will keep our doors open without the equally important commitments of time and talent, fellowship and caring for each other. Thank you for all your contributions.

— Della Willmann, Stewardship Committee Chair

Congregational Self Assessment Final Report

Copies of the final report will be on the table at the back of the sanctuary Sunday, Oct.23. If you do not find an envelope with your name, please request a copy from the church secretary.

Many thanks to all members and friends who participated, and a special "Thank You!" to the Congregational Self Assessment Team (CSAT)!

~Dianna Poindexter, Chair CSAT

Religious Education Happenings

RE Co- Directors Sarah Boulac and Michele Tomarelli

Music is a large part of the Unitarian Universalist way of worship. Every service is made brighter with song. Music is so important that we have it marked in the church budget, and then on top of that, individuals are contributing to the new hymnbook collection. We have found a new pianist to accompany the choir that works hard to bring their best to each song - our much put-upon choir that of late has been forced to run around the newly plastered and art-show-disrupted building to find a place to practice! On November 20th, the annual Music Service was a pleasure to hear. Not only do the members of the congregation here have a great deal of talent, but they are willing to share it. I would like to ask you to share your love of music in another fashion.

Unlike churches with a stricter liturgical calendar, Unitarian Universalists are less likely to use the same hymns repeatedly. At other churches even musically illiterate congregants become familiar with the music and lyrics of certain songs over the years because they hear them over and over. Here at the Unitarian Universalist Church, there is more variety in the musical selections. The only song we sing "religiously" every week is the little song we use to sing the children down to RE.

There are some songs, however, that are familiar to most of the members of this church and that even nonmusical UUs know almost by heart. I suspect
that there are songs that are shared across congregations as well, songs that might be heard in most of the Unitarian Universalist churches.

Common knowledge is part of what holds a community together. I would like to ask you to think about what songs might be important to teach to the
children and adults of the congregation to increase that common knowledge and allow even people who cannot read music to raise their voices more confidently in song.
Sarah and I are not musical, and we need your help ! What songs are common to the church? If you can tell us, and if you can volunteer to help teach them, we can add music to Religious Education.
We’d appreciate out your filling out the form below to get us started.

—Michele

Music for RE

What songs do you think are common to either our church, or to Unitarian Universalist Churches in general? (Please include where to find the music, if you know.)

Could you help teach the songs?

This form can be dropped in Michele or Sarah's mailbox or you can e-mail your choices to Michele.

Upcoming Events/Announcements

• Thank you to Anna Dufair and Jason Dufair for teaching the RE Classes two songs, having a Saturday rehearsal, and giving the RE students an opportunity to share their beautiful voices during the Music Intergen!

• Thank you to Chris Falley for leading our Abuse Awarenss Training for our RE Teachers. Sixteen RE Teachers, Helpers, and Nursery Workers were trained!!

• Pageant Rehearsals – Saturday, December 10th and Saturday, December 17th at 3pm! Plan to come if you are in the pageant!

• December 18th – Our intergenerational pageant “A UU Christmas Carol.” Support our children and youth and enjoy this holiday treat.

• Want to participate in the pageant??? Contact Sarah Boulac by December 4th. We have both speaking and non-speaking roles.

• December 25th – Family Holiday Celebration – No RE.

• January 1st – New Year’s Day – No RE – Childcare Only

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Teacher Schedule

                                                     Dec. 4                         Dec. 11
Preschool Teacher                         C. Frye                       C. Frye
Kind. – 1st Grade                          G. Mueller                  G. Mueller
2nd – 4th Grade                            K. Coder                     K. Schroth

Sunday Morning Forum

The Sunday Morning Forum meets at 9 a.m. in the Red Cross Building across the parking lot from the church. Everyone is welcome! Childcare is provided.
December 4: "Science and the Big Question" Roberto and Adela Colella.

Since it was established in 1987, the John Templeton Foundation has supported efforts to pursue new insights at the boundary between science and theology. Over the years, the Collelas have used this support to bring experts to Lafayette to inquire into the relationship between science and religion. Isn’t this at the heart of the debates about teaching intelligent design in school biology classes?

December 11: "Getting More Bang for the Buck – The Copenhagen Consensus"

Keith Brown.

What do you get when you put a panel of the world’s most prominent economists together for a week with a list of the 10 most pressing global problems and ask them to prioritize how they would spend 50 billion dollars? Keith Brown, Professor Emeritus of Economics from Purdue, will tell us where the economists felt we would get the most bang for our bucks.

—Ernest McDaniel

Minister’s Muse

The holidays are upon us and the culture swathes us in giddy expectations of sugar plum fairies and our wildest dreams come true – but this, as most of us know in our private experiences and reflection, is a truly challenging time for most people. It is a time for facing family, for facing loss, for acclimating ourselves to life changes and transitions – the ways in which this year’s holiday season will not be like last years – and that may be wonderful or terrible. It seems each year to be important to acknowledge to one another that this is not simply a time for tinsel and rejoicing – but also for grieving and reflecting.

At the grief workshop that I participated in recently, sponsored by St. Elizabeth’s Hospice and Hippensteel Funeral Home, I conducted a couple of sessions on creating your own rituals for managing grief and on understanding the role of ritual in working with and living with grief and loss. At one point I asked people to share what events they were most concerned about in which the specter of their loss would complicate their experience – the birthdays of their loved one, an anniversary, a family reunion. Again and again, they shared their concern about the upcoming holidays. I was so grateful that the workshop day had been scheduled before the holidays since that was such a profound concern. So often the deceased person is like an elephant in the middle of the room – the unspoken thing that really speaks in our hearts – the absence that is a tangible presence. And too often families are at a loss about how to face this absence. They can choose silence and avoidance, thereby guaranteeing a strange and unfinished feeling to the holidays. – the feeling that something is missing. Or they may choose to do the holiday in exactly the way it has always been done.

But the people who attended the workshop and who were grieving and anxious about the holidays really wanted another way altogether. They wanted to find a way to bring their grief – the real evidence of their love for the loved one – into the holiday. Not to be haunted by a ghost but to be able to honor the history – whether many years or a few – of this person whose life had an impact – sometimes positive and sometimes negative – on their own lives. They wanted permission and some guidelines for creative and practical ways to honor that history.

Of course families are all different, and some families are open and easily discuss pain or make room for the members of the family to share their real experience, and some families are not so open – so what will work in one family won’t work in another. At the workshop I worked with people to help them figure out for themselves – not according to my advice but according to their own family sense and their own insight – how to speak the too often unspeakable, to find a time to honestly weep if that felt right, and to find a time to perhaps include some aspect of their absent loved one in the midst of celebration. It was a vibrant workshop and the people were creative and I could see hope on their faces—not hope that the holiday would now be easy—but hope that they could walk forth into the holiday and, with some support, bring their full selves – holiday spirits and haunting spirits – to the season.

In this way the holiday becomes not only an opportunity to for a holiday celebration – but another possibility offered for healing and living with grief.

The holidays are a complicated time – we encounter our complicated lives, complicated families, complicated schedules, complicated hearts. By and large, the thing I try most to remember, is that there is not a RIGHT way to do the holiday – and that your own heart has to be barometer. It is important to rest, if you can. To take time apart if you must – go rest in your room or duck out for a walk or to meet a friend. It is important to pay attention to yourself at the same time that you care about the people around you. It is important to know that each moment in the holiday season is a fresh moment and that you can take that moment and live it with freedom and choice. It takes courage and sometimes support. I know that I think of my door as very open during the holidays and my heart and very ready to be of support. And I know that each year I am grateful that this congregational community exists so that every person here knows that they need not face their lives in isolation – but in a context of care and understanding.

Let that care and understanding – for loss, transition, history, challenge, as well as for joy and celebration – be the gift we bring one another in this season and for all seasons to come.

--Hilary

Lighted Chalice
Unitarian Universalist Church
17 S. 7th Street
Lafayette IN 47901-1637
E-mail: uuc@uulafayette.org
Home page: http://www.uulafayette.org
Publication: Every other Thursday
Submission deadline: Preceding Sunday at noon

Send to: lightedchalice@yahoo.com

Minister: Rev. Hilary Landau Krivchenia
Phone: 742-0460; minister@uulafayette.org

Office hours:

Tuesday 9 a.m.-noon
Thursday Noon-4 p.m.
Also by appointment

Religious Education : Sarah Boulac
Phone: 742-0460 or 414-2432
Office hours: 10 a.m. - 2 p.m Tuesday & Thursday

Secretary: Karin Bergman
Phone: 742-0460, e-mail: uuc@uulafayette.org
Office hours: 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Monday to Friday
Board Co Chairs: Robin & Dianna Poindexter Phone: 742-0460

Editors:

Kaye McSpadden, Phone: 743-3634, kaye7m@aol.com

Nancy Patchen, Phone: 497-1259, nhmp@verizon.net
Lynn Holland, Phone: 583-2703, holland@nursing.purdue.edu

Webspinner: Dianna Poindexter,dianna1@wildmail.com